So I must admit that this is not the beginning of my writing. As I sat down tonight, I began to write out everything I was upset about. Actually, I was writing a list of expectations that I have in what makes a “good relationship.” However, as I was writing I became more and more convicted as to what God wants me to see in this situation. Funny how He does that, isn’t it? Here I was wanting more out of someone (who by the way gives so much to me each day) without looking in the mirror. I began to realize how often we make a checklist of expectations of other people and their failures and shortcomings. Imagine if we sat out and wrote a checklist of our own? (Now I know I struggle with being too hard on myself. I constantly push myself to perfection and can really over do it. My bigger problem, however, is trying to push everyone else to that point with me.) So as I began to write out my “concerns” I realized that I need to turn to some bigger things.
That is when God reminded me of one of the most read passages in the Scriptures- 1 Corinthians 13. We use this passage in those romantic moments- weddings, proposals, dates, etc. We as a society read those verse and think of how lovely they are. Yet, if we were to be honest, this is what love looks like by our standards.
Love gives me what I want when I want it. It tells me the words I want to hear. Love let’s me do what I want without getting jealous. It doesn’t require me to be humble, but rather helps boost my ego and self-esteem. Love is about making me happy. It doesn’t keep records of my wrongs when I want to be forgiven, but helps remind me of everything someone else does. Love doesn’t delight in evil, but it sure does give me what I selfishly want. Love protects me only when someone else is against me or when it is convenient. Love takes me on nice dates. Love holds my hand and hugs me. Love perseveres until I’m tired of it. Love is emotional , irrational, and inconvenient.
Yet, this is not what the Bible says at all .If I was looking for a checklist of what a relationship should be like, boy, did he slap me in the face with it.
____1. Love is patient.
____2. Love is kind.
____3. Love does not envy.
____4. Love does not boast.
____5. Love is not proud.
____6. It does not dishonor others.
____7. It is not self-seeking.
____8. It is not easily angered.
____9. It keeps no records of wrongs.
____10. Love does not delight in evil.
____11. Love rejoices in the truth.
____12. It always protects.
____13. It always trusts.
____14. It always hopes.
____15. It always perseveres.
____16. Love never fails.
As a teacher, if I were to look at this list as a rubric, I would certainly fail the assignment. And let's make it a little more realistic. If I put my name into each of those, I realize how much more I need Christ daily. "Bobbie is patient. Bobbie is kind..." and so on.
And honestly, I would much rather be a in a relationship that had those attributes than one that involves fancy dates, romantic cards, etc (not that those things shouldn’t be apprecitated.) And this list in not exhaustive. Scripture also tells us the following:
1. Love our enemies- Matthew 5:43-48
2. Love your neighbor as yourself. –Mark 12:31
3. Love God above all else- Mark 12:33, Luke 10:27
4. There is no greater love than to lay down our life for others- John 15:13
5. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love- 1 John 4:8
6. We love God because He first loved us. 1 John 4:19.
This is completely humbling. How can I try to hold someone responsible for expectations that I ignore? That doesn’t mean that we should accept certain things, but it does mean that we should first look at ourselves.
How are you doing on this checklist? God isn’t grading us because He wants us to be perfect- He gives us these standards because He wants what is best for us. And more importantly, He rightfully wants to bring glory to Himself. We glorify God when we reflect Him, not ourselves.
Does the way we LOVE others (our boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife, brother/sister, coworker, friend, etc) reflect God? Does it meet the checklist? If not, ask Him to help you do so. That is my prayer for myself and for you as well. I am thankful not only for my relationships, but for the moments that remind me where my focus should be. This is my prayer for you and me.
And as I tell my students, don't worry about the grade someone else is receiving, worry about your own. What grade would you get?
No comments:
Post a Comment