Ahabah v. Agape

I recently read a blog entitled, “ Whatever You do, Don’t Fall in Love.”  The title sparked my interest, but the content of the article was not what I expected. The article focused on the word “love.” In our American vernacular, we use the word often. We could blame this overuse on two things: the ability of our society to distort and tarnish views of love, or the practical fact that our language does not have words for various types of love. While I attribute both to the failure of many to value “love,” I want to focus on the latter.

Many languages have various words to describe “love.” Hebrew is a great example of this. Hesed could refer to the type of love we have for our parents. We can raham the orphan. Or we can ahabah the hot guy walking by.

According to the article, ahabah (pronounced "AH-ha-vah") is generally associated with two people falling in love. It is characterized by a “spontaneous, impulsive display of affection and attraction.” The Bible is full of examples of ahabah (Samson and Delilah, Jacob and Rachel, etc.) The article then discusses how these types of relationships often lead to trouble. Yet, I started to take a different perspective on this.

When we think about falling in love with someone, we often do think of ahabah. And it’s a wonderful feeling to be in love. It’s fun. It’s exciting. We long for it. Yet, how often does it end in heartache? I’m over this idea of ahabah. I want agape (the word used to unconditional love often associated with God’s love for us.) I want relationships that are rooted and mirror God’s love. I never want ahabah to become stronger than agape.

And the only true way to have agape is to be connected with the Creator of such love. As I delve into love in several areas of life, I need to abide in God, who will spark and sustain this type of love (1 John 4: 9).

Think of this: Would we want God to ahabah us? Would it satisfy us if he only had an impulsive display of affection and attraction towards us? Would that type of love send His Son to die on the cross? Absolutely not! All He would need to do is take on look at our flaws and sin, and ahabah would be gone. AGAPE. That is unconditional. Why then would I settle for anything less than the type of love God gives if I am to follow Him? 

Christ commands us to love others as He loves us. That is agape. I want to agape my friends. I want to agape my future husband. And I want them to love me back the same way. I am not willing to compromise for some temporary love. I want something true even if it is not associated with those nice feelings of ahabah.

Agape. That love never fails. It may not be easy, but it is best.  

Do not settle for ahabah.  Seek agape.